Where has the time flown? We are already half-way through March of 2024, and have likely already faced the fact that some of the uncertainties we worried about didn’t come to pass – and some of them did. I am aware I bravely (?) began a journey of experiencing what makes up worship, and discussed the challenge to worship instead of worry. I didn’t expect to face the level of uncertainties that I have since that blog, nor did I expect to feel the gut-level fear that I have...and yes, I reminded myself that I needed to worship – but found that easier said than done!
I do know now, at a real level, that tears can be worship. Not always, though. Tears can simply be whining, even when expressed in the place of prayer. This truth gets personal for me! As I have faced my own uncertainties and my own fear, my tears that began as worship and were being expressed in my place of prayer became whining. My longing to see my Father do miracles, solve problems unmistakably by His hand, and glorify Himself in my trials had morphed into languishing. Communing was becoming complaining, and faith was merely frustration.
Jesus knew I needed some chastening! One morning early last week, I was having my “quiet time” with Jesus. I am working my way through the book of Jeremiah, and had already asked God to speak to me that day in regards to my desperate need for wisdom (He’s promised to liberally supply, right?) in the crises we were facing – spiritual, emotional, physical, financial – and He did. . . but not what I was expecting to hear. These are the words I read: “(Jeremiah said) O Lord. . .Your words were found and I did eat them; and Your words were to me a joy and the rejoicing of my heart. . .Why is my pain perpetual and my wound incurable, refusing to be healed? Will you indeed be to me like a deceitful brook, like waters that fail and are uncertain? Therefore, thus says the Lord (to Jeremiah): If you return
and give up this mistaken tone of distrust and despair, then I will give you again a settled place of quiet and safety . . . and if you cleanse your own heart from unworthy and unwarranted suspicions concerning God’s faithfulness, you shall be My mouthpiece.” (Jeremiah 15:15-19 Amplified version) Ouch. Wait. . . My Father was pointing out that I was calling Him “a deceitful brook”, and my tone towards Him was “distrust and despair”, and I was now becoming suspicious of His faithfulness? Double ouch.
Now I was offering the sacrifice of tears, sitting cross-legged on the floor with a river streaming down my face onto my robe. These tears, however, were worship. These tears were relationship and restoration. These tears were repentance. These tears, mingled with my prayer, were of the Revelation, where it says, “And the smoke of the incense, which came with the prayers of the saints, ascended up before God out of the angel’s hand...” (Revelation 8:4 KJV) Interestingly, I now see God working in our circumstances in His own unmistakable way. I wonder, though, if God wasn’t working like that all along. I needed worship tears to cleanse my sight so I could see.
Now I have a vision – a vision of my family and my church, faces uplifted toward the Father, shining with tears, overwhelmed by the presence of the Holy Spirit. Jeremiah 31:9 (Amplified version) says, “They will come with weeping in penitence and for joy, pouring out prayers...” This is the Revelation worship of chapter 8! Incense ascending up towards my God! Tears are worship – offered in the right attitude and to the right Person, the Lord of glory. Thanks for joining me on this leg of my worship journey,
Katherine
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